The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend about relationships, what we’ve learned from them, what we’ve carried, and what we want to leave behind.
Bell Hooks’ book “All About Love,” touches on this topic that you wrote about perfectly, she talks about the un-masculinity of Love and where it stems from. This was a great article to read thank you for the in-site
the most perfect expression of how I want to experience love and also brought so much awareness to how I may have been perpetuating toxic cycles for a sense of connection.. and i was about to do it again w someone I like, so thank you.
I’ve returned to a focus where love is built through friendship, and getting to know someone as a human being. Learning their vulnerabilities through deep conversation, shared empathy, building emotional and intellectual bonds and letting connection flourish uninhibited. Feeling desire, yearning and going “there’s more to this” and allowing that burning passion turn into something soft, grounded and meaningful. Real love liberates, it isn’t based off temporary highs or instant gratification. We understand this once we look within 🌹
God I love this so much. This is exactly how I feel about love — the slow burn is vastly underrated in a time of urgency, immediacy and instant gratification.
Thank you so much for writing this. I am in absolute awe of the eloquence and gentleness your writing provides. I needed to hear this, I’ve intevested into my self preservation over the past few months. I find myself thinking of ways I can show up as a better lover in my next relationship and a sentimennt that has remained consistant in my mind revolves around taking things slow. So, thank you.
This truly warmed my heart, Shay. Thank you. Unlearning lust or this way of thinking has been one of the hardest, yet most rewarding, things I’ve ever done. There’s something profound about seeing your person beyond desire and into their essence ….flaws and all while still feeling that deep, unwavering tenderness that somehow gives you an unshakeable strength at the same time? x
when you commented about masc women, it kinda tied up everything else for me; as men are always chasing sex, a person who presents themselves as masculine, even at the slightest, the connection made (masculinity <--> sex) is almost instant
Much appreciated as a masc lesbian who wants so badly to take my time with women. There always feels like there’s an invisible clock whose time is running out when you meet someone you’re interested in. If you haven’t taken it to the physically intimate realm by its expiration, it feels like you’ve condemned the relationship to the platonic or have missed your chance with them altogether.
due him being lustful. but everything you worded has brought out a new meaning to lustfulness. it doesn’t have to be just seeing others for their appearance it’s also the need
for that desire. it’s thought provoking and makes me want to rethink the kind of intimacy i want in a relationship.
this is beautiful , thank you for sharing this. I feel as though this is something i’m learning about in my own life, and in my own relationship, i try so hard to get things right and make sure everything is right that i can lose touch with myself and others when it’s “not right”. But with the grace of God i’ll grow and my heart will change and i’ll have peace w myself and others.
Bell Hooks’ book “All About Love,” touches on this topic that you wrote about perfectly, she talks about the un-masculinity of Love and where it stems from. This was a great article to read thank you for the in-site
love the book; one of my favorites
the most perfect expression of how I want to experience love and also brought so much awareness to how I may have been perpetuating toxic cycles for a sense of connection.. and i was about to do it again w someone I like, so thank you.
I’ve returned to a focus where love is built through friendship, and getting to know someone as a human being. Learning their vulnerabilities through deep conversation, shared empathy, building emotional and intellectual bonds and letting connection flourish uninhibited. Feeling desire, yearning and going “there’s more to this” and allowing that burning passion turn into something soft, grounded and meaningful. Real love liberates, it isn’t based off temporary highs or instant gratification. We understand this once we look within 🌹
I really really love the idea of yearning. We need to be more intentional about our love and how we chose to share it.
The feelings I went through reading this! 😩
SAAMMEE😭
God I love this so much. This is exactly how I feel about love — the slow burn is vastly underrated in a time of urgency, immediacy and instant gratification.
slow burn love is steady and the fire it makes last longer 🔥
Thank you so much for writing this. I am in absolute awe of the eloquence and gentleness your writing provides. I needed to hear this, I’ve intevested into my self preservation over the past few months. I find myself thinking of ways I can show up as a better lover in my next relationship and a sentimennt that has remained consistant in my mind revolves around taking things slow. So, thank you.
"eloquence and gentleness" omg you're so sweet! thank you so much for taking the time to read the piece!
This truly warmed my heart, Shay. Thank you. Unlearning lust or this way of thinking has been one of the hardest, yet most rewarding, things I’ve ever done. There’s something profound about seeing your person beyond desire and into their essence ….flaws and all while still feeling that deep, unwavering tenderness that somehow gives you an unshakeable strength at the same time? x
your words are so pretty
when you commented about masc women, it kinda tied up everything else for me; as men are always chasing sex, a person who presents themselves as masculine, even at the slightest, the connection made (masculinity <--> sex) is almost instant
beautiful work!
Oh this is gorgeous
Truly one of my favorite reads recently! Ah! So many feels.
These words came to me as I completed this read:
"I Am a Love worth waiting for."
Much appreciated as a masc lesbian who wants so badly to take my time with women. There always feels like there’s an invisible clock whose time is running out when you meet someone you’re interested in. If you haven’t taken it to the physically intimate realm by its expiration, it feels like you’ve condemned the relationship to the platonic or have missed your chance with them altogether.
can i just say wow. i’m
currently going through a break up
due him being lustful. but everything you worded has brought out a new meaning to lustfulness. it doesn’t have to be just seeing others for their appearance it’s also the need
for that desire. it’s thought provoking and makes me want to rethink the kind of intimacy i want in a relationship.
this is beautiful , thank you for sharing this. I feel as though this is something i’m learning about in my own life, and in my own relationship, i try so hard to get things right and make sure everything is right that i can lose touch with myself and others when it’s “not right”. But with the grace of God i’ll grow and my heart will change and i’ll have peace w myself and others.